A Little Bit Stronger
by SydneyAlice
Summary: One year ago, a traumatic experience left her fearful of strangers. As Bella struggles to move on with her life, she forms a friendship with a lunchtime companion. Can he break down her walls and open her eyes to the beauty of new beginnings?


**AN: This story was written for Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness. I was honored to contribute to such a worthy cause.**

**Disclaimer: This story does not include a scene of sexual abuse, but it does involve a main character who is still recovering from an attack in her past. The attack will be discussed, but it will not be graphically described. Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The song "A Little Bit Stronger" is by Sara Evans.**

**Special thanks to my beta, Shaina, and to Heather Dawn for the beautiful banner.**

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><p><em><strong>A Little Bit Stronger<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Bella<strong>_

"Come with us," Angela probed gently.

I couldn't help but smile at her persistence. Each day, she invited me to lunch with the rest of the editors, and each day, I'd politely turn her down. Angela was a true friend – understanding and patient yet eager to include me if I wished to be included.

I never wished to be included.

"I may work through lunch," I offered. It was a feasible excuse considering we had the publishing house breathing down our necks to meet our deadline. Being a children's book editor was truly my dream come true, but I'd never imagined the long hours involved. Reading had always been my passion, so this profession rarely felt like work. There was the occasional children's book that didn't interest me (and a few that had made me cringe), but those instances were rare. Getting lost in someone else's imagination was a welcomed relief from my own dark memories.

The office was nearly empty now, so when my stomach growled, it was fairly loud and embarrassing. Deciding a sandwich at the outdoor deli sounded good, I powered off my laptop and grabbed my purse and jacket before heading out of the building. It was a quick walk, and I smiled at Sue behind the counter who smiled in return before slicing two pieces of white bread from the loaf. She didn't even bother asking anymore. These days, I thrived on routine and control, so after making a turkey and Swiss on white everyday for three months, the sweet woman behind the counter finally stopped asking if I'd like to try something new.

I sat down at one of the tables that lined the patio, careful to give a wide berth to the strangers that were enjoying their lunch. None of them looked particularly threatening. As usual, it was just my twisted psyche, seeing danger where there really was none.

"Here ya go, Bella," Sue smiled from behind the counter. "I added a little bag of bread crumbs. I figured you might be headed to the park. It's a beautiful day for a Monday."

This was her usual Monday greeting, but it never failed to make me laugh.

"The ducks will love it," I nodded with a grin. "You're right. It's a little chilly today, but it's still nice."

Sue handed me my change and offered me one last friendly smile before turning her attention to her next customer. I zipped my jacket and walked back out onto the sidewalk, quickly making my way to the adjacent park.

It was early September, but the leaves were already beginning to change. The city was quickly becoming a mosaic of oranges and yellows mixed with some of the green that remained, and it was a breathtaking sight. My lunches at the park always filled me with joy – one of the few moments of happiness outside of the office. My favorite bench was in perfect view of the lake, and it was that perfect view that introduced me to the ducks. I related to them in a way that I couldn't relate to people. Like me, they disliked quick, sudden movements and were hesitant of strangers. They needed attention, but they also needed their space. They needed fresh air and nature, and they needed to be surrounded by peace and tranquility.

Like me, they also really liked Sue's freshly baked bread.

I was so preoccupied by the colorful tapestry of leaves reflecting against the lake that I didn't even notice him at first, but when I did, I stopped abruptly in my tracks.

There was a stranger sitting on _my_ bench, and he was feeding _my _ducks.

A fissure of fear quaked through me, nearly causing me to drop my lunch onto the cobble stone path.

"You like that, don't you?" He whispered to one of the ducks as he dropped another piece of bread onto the grass. With wide eyes, I watched as my normally skittish little duck walked right up to this stranger, taking the small piece of bread from between his fingers. I gasped softly, and he lifted his head. Warm, emerald eyes smiled up at me, and my irrational fear intensified. He must have noticed, because his smile quickly faltered.

"Hi," he said softly.

Intently, his green eyes gazed at me, and we stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. It was a struggle, but I finally found my voice.

"Hello."

He smiled again. It was a warm, friendly smile that would make any normal girl feel safe and secure. Too bad I wasn't a normal girl.

"Would you like to join us?" He asked politely, nodding toward the ducks at his feet. My eyes narrowed, surprised at their total acceptance of this stranger. Perhaps this was his favorite bench, as well. Maybe he normally fed the ducks in the afternoon. That would certainly explain their ease around him.

Or maybe, the ducks weren't like me at all and gravitated toward anyone who might throw a bread crumb their way.

I had to know.

"Do you usually feed the ducks?"

"No," the man shook his head as he tossed another bread crumb into the air. He chuckled as two of the baby ducks fought for the morsel, tearing into such little pieces there was hardly anything left when one of the ducks proved victorious. "This is my first time here. I'm new in town."

"Oh," I replied. I was so caught off guard that I quickly turned on my heel, determined to make my way back to the office as quickly as I could.

"Hey!" The stranger's voice was an octave higher, but still he didn't yell. Hesitantly, I turned back around. "I'm sorry, is this where you normally eat lunch?"

I nodded.

He apologized again, and I couldn't hide my smile. I mean, really, who apologizes for taking someone's favorite bench when it's clearly a public park?

"That's better," the man smiled at me. "You're pretty regardless, but you're really pretty when you smile."

There was no malice in his voice…no trace of an ulterior motive. He was just a cute guy on a park bench, telling a shy, damaged girl that she was pretty when she smiled. She knew better than to believe him, but it was still nice to hear.

"It's a big bench," he waved his hand over the emptiness. It was true. There was no reason that two people couldn't sit comfortably on the bench. They wouldn't even be close enough to touch.

"I don't think so," I whispered.

His smile faded, and I instantly felt ashamed. It wasn't his fault that I was broken beyond repair.

"I'll go," he offered as he rose to his feet. "There are plenty of benches in the park. I'll just find another place to eat."

"But none of those benches have this view of the water," I heard myself protest.

His handsome face was a blanket of confusion, and I felt sick to my stomach. I was giving this poor guy so many mixed signals; he'd probably never come back to this park for fear of running into the crazy girl.

"So…we can sit together?"

I sighed softly. "I can just go back to my office."

"Then I'd really feel bad," he said miserably as he threaded his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end. I was clearly frustrating him. "Look, my name is Edward. I'm twenty-four years old. I'm a musician, and I promise I'm the most polite man you'll ever meet because my mother would beat me otherwise."

I laughed in spite of my anxiety, but his speech was too sincere to doubt, so I cautiously took a step closer to the bench before taking a seat on the very edge. I heard him breathe a sigh of relief as I quietly unwrapped my sandwich and began to eat.

Edward must have sensed that this moment was a bit of milestone for me because the rest of our lunch was very quiet. The only sounds were the rustling of the leaves and the splashes from the ducks as they made their way back to the water. By the end of the hour, we'd fallen into a silence that didn't feel so uncomfortable, and it was remarkable how proud I felt.

For the first time in over a year, I'd sat next to a complete stranger, and I'd done it without the blinding panic that always threatened to suffocate me.

OOO

The rest of the week was exactly the same – gorgeous weather, hungry ducks, and a quiet lunch hour with Edward in the park. He didn't try to make conversation, and I certainly didn't initiate it. Still, it was comfortable and peaceful, and I was proud of myself. I was so proud that, on Thursday, I'd silently offered him my extra bread crumbs, and he'd smiled at me in thanks before sharing them with the ducks.

It was nearly impossible for there to be an entire week of gorgeous weather in the city of Seattle, so I wasn't surprised when Friday's walk to the deli required an umbrella. However, I was surprised – and a little disappointed – when I arrived at the park and found that my favorite bench was empty.

The rain was now just a sprinkle, so I closed my umbrella and pulled my lunch and bread crumbs out of my bag. I took a bite and stared out across the water. The ducks didn't bother coming ashore, which was okay with me until I saw them waddling to the far end of the water and making their way onto land. I glanced across the grass and saw their destination, and my heart did a little somersault when I saw a flash of auburn hair in the distance. He didn't look my way for the longest time, but then he must have felt my eyes on him, because he suddenly turned his head in my direction. I could see the grin spread across his face as he waved. Embarrassed at being caught, I awkwardly waved in return and settled my eyes on the sandwich in my lap.

Why was he sitting over there? Had I been such terrible company? I'd been so proud of my accomplishment. Didn't he realize that this week had been huge for me?

Then I realized that, no, he didn't understand, and I was being completely irrational for expecting him to be a mind reader.

Suddenly, it was very important to me that he understood. I wanted him to know that I appreciated the effort. I wanted him to know that our lunches were the first time I'd been comfortable around a stranger in so very long, and that his quiet patience had given me courage – enough courage to walk across the grass and say all of this to his sweet, handsome face.

OOO

_**Edward**_

I couldn't help but stare as she made her way across the grass. The heel of her shoe was sinking into the damp grass, and I felt a little remorse for stooping to such theatrics just to see how she'd react to me not being in our usual spot. I couldn't be too regretful, though, because she was coming to me.

Instinctively, I knew that this was major.

She'd been so afraid of me on that first day. The fear had been palpable, sending my instincts into overdrive and causing me to be on alert throughout our lunch. I was just waiting for someone to jump out of the shadows because it was obvious that this girl was scared. I didn't take it personally because I knew I wasn't the one she feared. I was a tangible representation of that fear, but the danger wasn't me.

It was that knowledge that brought me back on Tuesday…and on Wednesday and Thursday.

After another sleepless night caused by this beautiful, nameless, girl, I decided an intervention of sorts was in order. Nothing major, but something to bring her out of her shell, just a little. I knew it was a huge risk, but the silence was slowing driving me insane.

One might wonder why – if the girl was driving me so crazy – that I chose to come back day after day. As she walked up to me, with her flowing skirt brushing the wet grass, I had my answer.

"My name is Bella."

My smile must have been ridiculous because she smiled in return, and it was the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

OOO

"Favorite singer?"

"Amy Lee," Bella answered without hesitation before tossing another bread crumb onto the grass. It was the second week of our daily lunches, and we'd returned back to her favorite bench.

"Really?" I was surprised. "You don't seem like a Goth kind of girl."

"I don't care about the genre," she shrugged as she sipped her bottle of water. "Amy has the purest voice I've ever heard. I do prefer the ballads, though."

"Me too."

"You do _not_ listen to Evanescence," Bella smirked.

I pretended to be wounded. "You think I'm lying?"

"I just think a jazz musician would have very specific tastes."

"I do," I nodded in agreement. "Like you, I don't care about genre." She continued staring at me with those big brown eyes until I finally relented. "Fine, I liked _My Immortal_ the first thousand times I heard it. Now I can't stand it. Are you happy?"

Bella giggled. That sweet giggle kept me awake at night.

By the third week, I was ready to ask her out on a real date. Honestly, I'd been ready since the first day we met, but considering it took an entire week just to learn her name, I sensed that it was imperative that I take things slowly. We'd learned a lot about each other over the past few weeks, and each day, Bella had sat a little closer to me on the bench. Today, our knees were nearly touching. It was definite progress.

"So, I've been asked to play a set down at the club on Friday night," I murmured as I gazed out across the water. By now, the leaves on the trees had all turned to their autumn shades of gold, and it was so pretty reflected against the crystal blue lake.

Bella turned to me and smiled excitedly.

"Edward, that's great!"

"Thanks," I grinned.

I'd been playing down at the club for about two months now, and Jasper had finally taken pity on me, offering me the opening act slot on Friday night.

"I was thinking maybe you'd come listen? It'd be nice to have a friendly face in the crowd. We could grab a pizza or something later, if you'd like."

Her entire demeanor changed. Her body was suddenly rigid, and her eyes were wide with terror. I knew she was going to refuse.

"Edward, I…"

"It's okay," I whispered, offering her a smile. "It's too soon."

"No, that's not it," Bella said softly. "I'm just not very good with crowds of people, especially strangers. I don't like to shop. I don't go to clubs…" Her voice trailed off and I saw a flicker of pain in her eyes. "At least, I don't go to clubs anymore. I haven't since…"

"Bella, stop…" I begged. I didn't want to hear it. I knew, intuitively, that someone had hurt her in the past. "I want to know you – every part of you – but I can't hear this."

With a shaky sigh, Bella reached across what little space was left between us and took her hand in mine. Her hand was trembling, and so was mine, but that didn't keep us from linking our fingers together. Her tiny hand fit so perfectly into mine. I watched in amazement as she began to rub little circles along my skin with the pad of her thumb. The feeling that flowed through me was unlike anything else, and I finally allowed myself to do something I'd wanted to do ever since the moment I met her.

With my free hand, I reached up and cupped her cheek. Bella's eyes closed as she leaned into the palm of my hand, and I allowed the tips of my fingers to gently stroke her crimson skin.

"If you really want to know every part of me," Bella whispered, "then you have to hear this."

"But that's not you," I argued selfishly. If she confirmed my worst fears, I was sure that I'd lose my mind completely. "Whatever happened in your past isn't you. Not really." I squeezed her hand. "Look at you. You're sitting right here beside of me. You're holding my hand. Hell, Bella, three weeks ago you wouldn't even tell me your name. You're so brave."

"You make me feel brave," Bella smiled softly.

"You make me feel…" I bowed my head because I knew it was too soon for _that_ little revelation. "I'm a selfish bastard. I just can't hear that someone hurt you. I can't."

She gasped softly. "How did you know?"

I closed my eyes in agony. It was all the confirmation I needed.

"I don't know," I replied quietly. "You were just so afraid of me, and I wanted to see if I could bring you out of your shell. I wanted to see if our friendship could be stronger than your fear."

"It is," Bella said gently.

I sighed softly as our ducks finally made their way onto the grass. Bella let go of my hand before reaching into her bag and tossing some of the crumbs onto the ground. The ducks quacked gratefully as they fought over the bread.

"Is that what we are?" Bella whispered after a long stretch of silence. "We're friends?"

_Friends._

I swallowed nervously. Without a doubt, it was the wrong word. We were so much more than that. I knew it, and I think she knew it, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't be asking.

"You're my best friend," I answered honestly.

"You're mine, too."

"I can't lie," I murmured as I took her hand back in mine. "I want to be more."

Bella's face softened. "I don't know that I can be more." She sighed sadly. "I _want_ to be more. Damn it, this would be so much easier to understand if you'd let me explain."

"It would kill me," I whispered frantically. God, could I be anymore selfish?

"Coming to a club would kill me, too," Bella said.

And in that moment, the gauntlet was thrown. My brave girl was willing to endure a club for me. In exchange, I'd have to listen to her story.

Could I do it?

I gazed into her hopeful eyes, and I knew I had to try.

OOO

_**Bella**_

_Jasper's Jazz Joint_ was a true jazz club on the south side of the city. Hazy smoke and bass beats met me at the door, and I took a deep breath before making my way inside.

Edward had told me to go straight to the bar and ask for Jasper. He knew I'd be nervous, and I was, but I also knew that he'd be busy backstage, and this night was about him.

This night was also about us – me moving forward and stepping out of my comfort zone, and him accepting all of my flaws and fears. I didn't want my anxiety to ruin his big night, so I made him promise not to worry while I promised to find the club owner and sit wherever he directed me. The club was filling up, but thankfully, this crowd seemed pretty tame.

Just then, I was tapped from behind, and I spun around quickly. A tall, broad-shouldered man towered above me, and I felt my pulse quicken with fear.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

I closed my eyes as a deluge of memories flooded through me. The words were exactly the same. Only the man was different.

"No thank you," I managed to whisper.

"Just one?" He grinned as he leaned a little closer. I was just about to bolt for the door when a voice from behind the bar saved me.

"Paul, I believe she said no," the bartender said firmly.

Paul was apparently intimidated by the club owner because he threw his hands up in surrender, and I sagged with relief.

"Bella?" the man smiled at me, and I nodded. "I thought so. You're just as Edward described. He asked me to look out for you tonight."

"Thank you," I murmured. He handed me a drink, and I didn't even bother asking what it was. I just swallowed it gratefully. Jasper smirked when I asked for another.

"One more," he conceded with a soft smile. "I'm not sure Edward would be very pleased with me if you were drunk before the set even began."

Jasper handed over bartending duties to another man and steered me toward the front of the stage. A few customers accidentally bumped me along the way, but Jasper was right by my side until we made it to a table. He offered me a chair, and despite the fact that he was a complete stranger, I felt completely at ease with him. Perhaps the alcohol helped, but Jasper had a calming effect on me, and I wondered idly if he and Edward were related.

Getting to know Edward over the last few weeks had been incredible. Even before the attack, I'd never felt entirely comfortable around men. I was always so shy and hesitant, and I'd never initiated anything. That had changed on the day Edward was sitting at a different bench. I now understood that his decision had been a deliberate one, and it had been just the kick in the ass I'd needed for nearly a year. Now that I was ready to try, he was the one letting my past interfere with our present – and maybe our future – and that was my motivation for agreeing to come to the club tonight.

Edward was smart, funny, and kind…so, so kind. Never once had he made me feel uncomfortable, and after three weeks, I was feeling a little bit stronger and a whole lot braver. I had been a victim for far too long. It was time to move on. It was time to let myself be close to someone, and it was time to let myself feel the emotions that Edward stirred inside of me. It wasn't just a physical attraction (although those feelings were certainly there). It was something deeper and much more meaningful, and I refused to let one horrible night ruin what could be the beginning of the very best part of a new chapter in my life. I would jump this hurdle, and Edward would jump it with me. We couldn't move on until he knew everything there was to know about me, and I hoped that my visit to the club would give him the strength to listen.

"You look thoughtful," Jasper noted as he took the seat next to me. He was careful to keep a small distance between us, and I appreciated the sentiment.

"Just excited," I smiled softly. "Tonight is about new beginnings."

"Well then," Jasper grinned as he lifted his beer bottle. "Here's to new beginnings."

We clinked glasses, and then Jasper excused himself before heading to the stage. He introduced Edward as one of the Seattle's finest young talents, and the crowd applauded politely as he took his place behind the piano. Once settled, his eyes immediately fell to my table, and I knew then that he and Jasper had planned my seating arrangement. His eyes lingered on me for a few moments until his face split into a breathtaking smile before he began to play.

It was an instrumental set, and the music was a mixture of upbeat jazz standards and more contemporary ballads. I wasn't surprised at all that Edward was insanely talented, and I also wasn't shocked to see a flock of young women move their chairs closer to the stage as he played song after song. His eyes, however, never left mine, and warmth flooded my veins as he dedicated his final song to his best friend.

"I think you're a little more than a best friend," Jasper whispered softly.

I felt my face flush. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so," he said. "He's never played better than he's played tonight, and I know you're the reason."

"He's so talented," I murmured.

"He is," Jasper agreed. "I didn't tell Edward this because I knew it'd just make him nervous, but there are a few talent agents in the crowd tonight. They come in about once a week to scope out the new artists. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he gets a record deal out of this."

The crowd exploded with applause as the final song came to an end, and Edward thanked the crowd before making his way to our table. He was so excited, and between the expression on his face and Jasper's news, I was practically bouncing in my seat.

"You look so beautiful," Edward whispered as he took the seat next to mine, "and happy. You look so happy, Bella."

"I am happy," I replied. Jasper discreetly excused himself and made his way back onto the stage to introduce the next act, but we didn't notice. I did notice that the groupies that had lined the stage were shooting daggers in my direction, especially when Edward scooted his chair closer to mine and wrapped his arms around me. Sighing contently, I leaned back into his embrace, and we sat like that through the remainder of the show.

OOO

It was last call, and Jasper was busy at the bar while the rest of the employees did their nightly cleaning. I was still at my table, completely euphoric and blissfully in love with the man at the piano. I had no idea what he was playing, but it was soothing and tranquil, and I knew that every last note was for me.

Stronger than I'd ever felt, I slowly rose from my chair and made my way onto the stage. Edward's eyes never left mine; his fingers never faltered on the keys. The stage lights suddenly dimmed, and I walked between him and the piano, slowly climbing into his lap. I heard his breath hitch as he pulled me higher, pinning me against his body and the ebony piano. His hands returned to the keyboard, but his eyes closed when I gently ran my fingers through his hair. I pressed my chest against his, and I could feel our frantic heartbeats race against each other.

"I love you, Edward."

His eyes snapped open, and he gazed at me with wonder.

"I love you, too." Edward whispered tenderly.

I smiled softly, his admission making me brave.

"Will you love all of me?" I asked quietly.

He swallowed nervously as he nodded.

"Every last part of you," he promised.

It was just the encouragement I needed.

"Keep playing."

His fingers transitioned to a new song, and I took a deep breath.

"One year ago," I began with a whisper, "I was at a club with a friend of mine. Her name is Jessica. She's from Portland, and we only see each other about once a year. She was in town, and she begged me to take her to a club, so I did. There was this guy. His name is James. I didn't know his name then, but I know it now."

Edward's eyes closed. His forehead creased, and I could see the little crinkles of agony form beneath his long eyelashes. I lifted my hand and gently stroked them away before I continued.

"I drank more than I usually drink, so when he pulled me away from the dance floor and into the empty VIP room, I didn't have enough sense to realize what was happening."

Edward's face was flooded with pain. I hated hurting him, but he said he'd love me – every last part of me – and he couldn't love all of me until he heard every last word. I didn't go into detail. The tear rolling down his cheek assured me that I didn't have to.

"I filed charges," I whispered softly. "That's how I learned his name. He's in prison now, and hopefully will be for the rest of his life."

Edward stopped playing and wrapped his arms tightly around me. We buried our faces into each other's necks, both of us shedding quiet tears long after Jasper finally turned off all of the lights, leaving only the glow of the club's neon lights surrounding us.

OOO

They say that time heals. That might be true, but time doesn't make you forget.

It is now two years after my assault, but more importantly, it is now one year after Edward told me he loved me for the first time.

_Focus on the positives_, my therapist tells me. _Focus on today._

So that's what I try to do. It's easy to do most of the time.

Our professional lives are rewarding and successful. I am now a senior editor at the publishing house. Just as Jasper predicted, Edward was offered a recording contract, and he is now putting the final touches on his first album.

Romantically, life is just as wonderful. Six months after my confession at the club, Edward and I made love for the first time. We now live together in an apartment close to the park. We still visit the ducks from time to time, and we still have our same bench with the perfect view of the lake. From time to time we talk about finding a bigger apartment outside of the city. We also talk about marriage. I know he's ready, and I know I'm ready. We'll know when the time is right.

Everyday, I get a little bit stronger. _We _get a little bit stronger…together.

It's after midnight, and I hear the gentle strains of the piano coming from the living room. He's playing my lullaby, a song that started out as a hum in my ear during my restless nights and has now morphed into the title track of his album. To the listener's ear, it probably sounds haunting and sad, but it's anything but. It's my safe haven. It's my reminder that I am protected, cherished, and loved.

It draws me to him every single time, so he isn't surprised when I make my way to the piano. Sitting on the bench, I lean my head onto his shoulder. As the song ends, he turns his head, brushing his lips against my forehead.

I need more, and I tell him so.

Edward lifts me on top of the piano and slowly tugs the sash of my robe. The satin falls away, and he buries his face against my neck. Trembling with desire and need, my hands reach for his pajama bottoms. Moments later, my feet create a symphony against the keys as he makes love to me. It isn't the first time we've had sex on top of the piano, and we both know it won't be the last.

Later, when we're lying in bed and I'm wrapped between him and the sheet, he whispers against my ear how much he wants me to be his wife. Because I want to be his wife just as much, I say yes.

That's when I understand that time can't heal everything.

Love can.

_**~The End~**_


End file.
